i don’t wanna look back.

i’m checking in to 2012.

putting things into perspective and moving on.

that’s all i have to say.

backpacking in camiguin and CDO adventure trip should be able to ease the tension i feel these past few days.

i will not be describing the place or how we went around the city and/or the island or what we did there. the best advice i could give you if you’re planning to go there is to just GO THERE!

An island

ferry to camiguin

view from the resort

sunken cemetery

Cold Spring

katibawasan falls w/ friends

white island ♥

pimp my ride - CDO Style.

san agustin cathedral

museum

adventure park

drop off point

action stars

the people are nice and accommodating, the food is great.  lot’s of exciting places to visit and of things to do.

just another exciting weekend for me.

ayoko nang umuwi! =)

i never thought it would go up to this point. i have this feeling or thought that’s bothering me these past few weeks. it’s the same reason why i don’t get to update this.  i still have these thoughts in the pool of my mind waiting for letters to copulate and construe the very idea that i, too, have a life of my own.

but i’d get this feeling of loneliness. or of jealousy. or just plain guilt of the notoriety of a deed so inconsequentially fitting to a person, such as me.

i get frustrated. or i just feel tired.

lot’s of them.

this time, it’s not about the good free-flowing food but with the good people you’re with. really!

Happy Team Building – Phase 1! =)

it never troubled me until this point in my life. kung kailan ba naman tumanda nagmature saka ko na ito naging problema.

it’s the case of the bad penmanship.

you see, i finally decided to jut down in a notebook whatever it is that is on my mind at that very instance. kaso lang, yun nga. i realized that my hand writing is poor. hahaha. i can’t believe na ngayon pa ako nainsecure sa penmanship ko, ngayo’t makabago na ang panahon at ang pagsusulat sa isang papel ay para na lang sa pagsagot sa deposit slip, raffle stubs at pag fill-up ng cheke.

but nonetheless, it should not stop me from practicing this activity. malaki na ako for these petty insecurities. it’s a hint of inferiority complex on my part.

i’ll tell you when i get to write on it.

here are six random corporate quirks and lingo i learned in the course of my very first year as a corporate tiger-cub. use it wisely to successfully trudge the corporate jungle.

1. “swangit” – short for pangit na masungit.  since it’s a different world to what i am used to, temperance when it comes to what words come out of our mouths are and should be observed. the word swangit refers to the person you are most irritated at.
2. a lasallian colleague to another lasallian: “Akala ko Atenista ka, kaya hindi kita pinapansin…”  (this made me laugh.) who says that the battle of the top 4 universities are petty and childish? no it’s not. it’s present at your office cubes and pantries and cafeterias. be vigilant! listen to the beating leatherette drums of university wars – know the battle cries. be prepared!
3. “re-target” – it is when you have your goals set in a period of time but unfortunately you fail in achieving it, then this is what to do. re-target. life in the jungle is guided by a set of rules and goals you plan or wish to achieve in a period of time. be it long term, short term, complex or simple – you are expected to finish it targeting a specific date. procrastination has no quaint spot in the jungle. yes it can be tough – but can also be forgiving, therefore giving birth to the word re-target.
4. “appraisals” – when all is in your favor and the elders of the pack has distinguished you as a good asset in the tribe – you will be appraised. This will come as ceremonial liturgy of how it is to uphold the guiding principles that bounds that commune of people together.  in the end, you will be given a sheet of bond paper with indistinguishable print on it, a small change in your pocket as a sign of good work, an unspoken promise of longevity in the work place and an extra shot of espresso on your daily starbie.
5. “13th month pay” – this constitutes not only the “13th month pay” but all forms of monetary compensation you have as a corporate tiger-cub. (so for me,  it’s just a pro-rated 13th month pay. need i elaborate?) who says it’s the unlucky number? it’s the only lucky number in the calendar. you’ll be luckier if your in a bigger corporate jungle, you get to enjoy you lucky thirteens on your boring elevens (my birth month).
6. Cycles – similar to the world we know of, the corporate jungle is also guided by time. but unlike the world we know, it is measured in cycles. These cycles determine the fate of all the thousand-fold of baby tiger cubs all semi-equally equipped with the skill and know-how for survival.

it has been a good year for me. yes, people do come and go out of the concrete towers we are in; but, it is a known fact that we are just traversing the same corporate jungle. simple realizations like this are part of the bigger and unending goal of finding a comfy spot at the top of the corporate world.

well, good luck to me. =)

umuulan ngayon ng malakas simula kahapon dito sa kamaynilaan at sa tingin ko, parang ngayon rin lang ako inabutan ng malakas na bugso ng ulan sa mga araw na may pasok ako sa opisina. nakaugalian ko na nga kasi ang mag commute papasok sa opisina maliban na lang kung maaga akong nagising at nakasabay ako sa pag hatid ng nanay ko sa kapatid ko patungong paaralan. pero kung tutuusin, isa nga akong commuter. at oo. dyahe sa isang komyuter gaya ko ang pagbugso ng malakas na ulan, anupa’t ng isang bagyo.

naisipan kong isulat ang sanaysay na ito dahil sa isang pagkakatanto buhat ng dalawang araw na paglalakad sa ulan.

kasi, pagmakulimlim at nagbabadya ang ulan, may isa akong sapatos na partikular kong sinusuot. waterproof ‘ika nga. tamang panangga sa ulan lalo pa’t palagi akong naglalakad na pauwi. hindi ko naman ito madalas naisusuot kasi aminado akong mas masarap sa paa ko yung mumurahing sapatos na nabili ko dati. pero simpleng pagulan lang ay mararamdaman ko nang nababasa ang medyas ko pag gamit ang mumurahing sapatos na ‘yon. kaya sa mga panahong maulan maiging suot ko yung waterproof kong sapatos.

habang naglalakad kahapon inisip ko na kung anong sapatos naman ang susuotin ko sa biyernes. dress-down fridays  kami tuwing araw na ito kaya may laya kaming pumili ng susuotin. naisip kong suotin kanina yung all-weather hiking shoes ko gawa nang wala na akong ibang casual na sapatos na kayang tumagal sa pagragasa ng tubig ulan maliban dito. at yun naman ang sinuot ko.

kaso malakas ang ulan, mas mataas kaysa sa normal na lawa ng baha ang mayroon sa kalsada at malakas ang hangin. hindi kinaya ng all-weather hiking shoes ko ang tubig at nabasa ang paa ko sa loob. pero anu pa’t pauwi na naman ako kaya ininda ko na lang yung basa kong paa, mainam din kasing suotin ito habang lumulusong sa baha gawa nang rubber ang loob nito at designed ang sapatos na ito para sa mga ganitong panahon. hindi ganoon ka-pangit ang pakiramdam ng sapatos na ito sa loob pag basa di gaya ng ibang sapatos na pag nabasa ang loob ay parang kadiri na suotin.

tapos narealize ko, mainam pa ako dahil may pamalit pa akong sapatos na maisusuot bukas kahit basang basa na ang sapatos ko na suot ko ngayon, samantalang may mga kababayan tayong ni minsan hindi nakaranas mag suot ng sapatos o kung mayroon man iisa lang at sira na. at may mga kababayan tayong walang maiuuwian para magpatuyo ng damit dahil kumukubli’t naninirahan sila sa lansangan kung saan walang patid ang pagbuhos ng ulan.

nasaan na ang karangyaang dulot ng pagsusuot ng isang pares ng sapatos?

1. a good friend of mine is right: “alamin mo kung kanino mo ipapautang ang perang pinaghirapan mo..” it really is true. pero as the famous cliche tells us that what will not kill you only makes you stronger. hindi ka nga lang makakabili ng front-row tickets sa incubus concert this july. maybe next time.
2. People come and go. and it’s by choice. and most of the time they are unaware.
3. on my way home kagabi sa lrt, may couple na nagpi-PDA-hardcore sa harap ko. (mind you, masikip ang LRT around 8:30pm so imagine kung nasa harap ko sila). so there i was with my big mouth and said: “ngayon lang ba kayo nagkita after five years? if not, get a room!” *sabay baba sa pinaka sumunod na station*. close call there. hoo!
4. parang dati-rati sobrang nagmamadali na akong tumanda, to do things on my own. now, parang pwedeng bumalik na lang sa pagkabata? nuong mga panahong hindi pa ganoon ka-complex ang lahat and i don’t get to decide by myself those critical choices i need to make? i’ve been attacked by anxiety several times this week. yung tipong hindi ako mapakali out of no rational reason at all. i dunno. i think it’s just me and my pessimism seeping from my mind through my body. i didn’t have a single deep fulfilling sleep, i hope this week it’ll come.
5. i’m going somewhere this August! sana hindi bumagyo. sana hindi maulan. sana hindi bumagyo. sana. sana! =)
6. i will start jutting down several notes i need to remember in my life. things to do. questions i need to ask. places i’d wish to visit. it will either be my short-term or long-term bucket list. it’s a bit personal so i will not be posting it in my blog. (as if anyone actually reads it. but nonetheless it shall be kept a secret else i deemed it otherwise.)

alice tried to think of six impossible things for breakfast, i think of six random things just to pass the time.

June 12 – araw ng kalayaan ng Pilipinas sa mga mananakop na kastila.

June 19 – kaarawan ng ating pambansang bayaning si Rizal.

June 21 – opisyal na anibersaryo ko bilang isang ganap na malayang manggagawa. =)

imbis na gumawa ng isang independence post gaya ng nakagawian ko ng mga nakaraang taon. ang gagawin ko ngayong araw ng kalayaan ay isang independence experience! (and i mean it in a very chaste-walang malisya way)

i did a solo photowalk in manila earlier and i got my first roll of films developed.

naalala ko noon isa sa mga panakot sa akin ng mga magulang ko ang mga aswang. siguro gawa ng kamusmusan kaya ganoon din ang paniniwala ko sa mga ito. pero dumating ang pagkakataon kung saan ang konsepto ng kilabot at pangamba sa mga nilalang na ito ay unti-unting nawala na sa isipan ko. hindi ko alam sa iba, pero para sa akin ngayon ang mga kinatatakutang aswang noon ay produkto lamang ng malikhaing pagiisip ng tao. ang minsang kinatatakutan ko ay ngayo’y katutuwang alaala na lang ng nakaraan. nakakatuwa nga talaga ang takbo ng isipan ng tao. kung saan saan nakararating. kung ano-ano ang mga napag-tatagumpayan.

nagpalit na nga siguro ang anyo ng mga aswang. hindi na sila ganoon ka mapamoso gaya ng dati kaya nakiayon na sila sa persepsyon ng isang indibidwal – sa kung papaano tinatanaw ang konsepto ng mga nilalang na ito. pero kagaya ng sinaunang mga aswang, wala rin itong tiyak na anyo. hindi nakikita, pero nariyan lang sa malikhaing isipan, naghahasik ng takot at lagim.

sa katunayan, sa ikli pa lang ng tinatakbo ng buhay ko, madaming aswang na akong nagapi. pero marami pa rin sila, lilinga-linga diyan sa paligid. minsan nga parang mas gusto ko na lang ang dating ideya ng aswang – katapat lang ay bawang.